OlyWa

Remember how I went home not too long ago? I got to walk Capitol Lake a few times. The weather was beautiful and there were lots of folks out enjoying the views.

I wonder how many times I have walked this lake in my life....

Dome over the lake...with skies and clouds.

Yummy.

Yummy.

Yummy.

This is the last free artesian well in Olympia...there used to be 13 or more, free-flowing clear, crisp clean water. I used to get my water here. All gone now. This one will be gone too, soon. The non-profit agency that tested the water twice a month will no longer be testing it. It will be gone. One more piece of history...so freaking sad.

Well, not sure what this post is really about...

smells like Thanksgiving around here

despite anxiety and medications...tonight felt really, really super good. I ate more than I have in a couple weeks(due to meds), drank too much(sorry doc, but it was Thanksgiving), and new friends merged well with old friends.....gotta love that. I love having a successful dinner party. I do. It means lots to me. And I really, truly enjoyed the experience, which kind of suprised me. It's not like I put too much into it until the very last moment....I couldn't concentrate on it.
I am thankful...for small miracles...and good friends...and a warm house...and for grace.

thankful...

Living between the U.S. and Canada does have some bonuses you might not even be aware of. For instance...I get to give thanks(for everything) twice a year now, in a feasting, public sort of way. Although I do give thanks and say my prayers(to god, whatever I conceive him to be) every day, it is brilliant that I get to celebrate my favoutite holiday twice a year with others...technically, today is not a holiday here in Canada so I am working(at a place that I love and am thankful for that), but come Sunday, my house is open...full of feasting, festivities, friends who are family and fun. Despite the anxieties and the blue meanies of late, I am fully aware of all there is to be thankful for... and I am so very thankful. For everything. To friends and family back home, I wish I was there. I love you so. To those friends here with me now, come on over on Sunday....there are never enough days to give thanks. The bird comes out of the oven at 5. I'll save you a space at the table.

walkies, anyone?

It's cold...the time of year that gets these two sharing the bed under the pellet stove again. This old house is never quite warm enough...at least for me. Maybe I should get a bigger pillow and join them in the radiant pellet stove heat. I have had to scrape my windshield a time or two now. Ick. But, it's also that time of year, that when the sun does come out, it is deliciously crisp and clear, and everything seems to be in sharp focus. Shadows are perfect, the play of light on water, the feel of the sun on skin is just warm enough...of course, there isn't much skin exposed.

There is that most particular shade of blue in an early winter sky. You know the one I mean? It was meant to be the exact perfect colour for setting off these red berries. Whew. Beautiful, eh?

The greens of the mosses are at their most succulent, too, with all the rain that's fallen. With all the leaves off the trees, the moss doesn't have to compete to be seen right now. It has all the green-y glory it could ever hope for.

The funny thing about walking Morrell Wildlife Sanctuary is that the only wildlife I really see there is ducks or squirrels...or sometimes people's wild kids and dogs. I guess there are bears out there right now, but I didn't see anything...except the ducks.

But ducks are enough,

and these guys are enough, to make for a great walk in the sun.

Okay then, how about that? We finally went for a walk together again.

Thanks for coming along with me.

still here....

not too much to talk about right now, still acclimating to my new prescription(gasp, yes! i did it. in some ways i feel like it means i gave up, but dang! i was so very tired of fighting it, too, and for all my fighting, it seemed i was losing ground, so...) ...and not a lot of time off this week...today looks like a beauty, if a little crisp and cold.

maybe a walk at Morrell Wildlife Sanctuary is called for....i haven't been there in a good long while...and maybe i will even take the camera out of the camera bag for this walk.

hmmmn....maybe the meds are working. haven't even thought of photos in a while.

alrighty, then, one day off, and i got a lot to get done...so, talk to you soon???

I got a McDreamy....

so yeah?
My new family doctor?
Cute. Cute. Cute.
Yay for me.

Ah, come on now! For real? Really real?

So, trying to import this damn car....first had a helluva time with making sure the seatbelts would pass safety inspection(old automatic kind that had a faulty mechanism...they don't make them anymore, of course). Finally fixed and sorted.

Went to CanTire for inspection today and they said my car needed automatic daytime running lights in order to pass inspection. I said, "Well, that's great but can we do the inspection first because what is the point of putting in running lights and me paying for labour if it's going to fail because of something else, right?" Logical, eh? Got there at 8(my appointment time), they finally took my car in at 9(what's the point of an appointment, eh?), left there at 11:30, after paying for an inspection, the installation of running lights and still failing the safety inspection. Um, why, if my car was failing inspection, did you put in the running lights? Why would they do that??? And why did I just pay the bill and leave?

Because I am acting like a lunatic lately. And I didn't want to start bawling in the fucking automotive department of Canadian Tire...I can't seem to have a normal reaction to anything right now. I had to come home and cry.

So I got home and found a letter waiting saying we owe 200.00 plus dollars for importing the car in the first place(a well-maintained car that is not, as yet, passing the importation safety inspection while there are rust buckets belching black smoke and leaking gallons of oil EVERYWHERE around me as I drive ). I know that is not the case....my car is 15+ years old and exempt. In fact, the year, make and model are printed right there on their letter. WTF????? I KNOW that I don't owe that money but now I have to get a hold of this government agency to tell them their own rules? Like, really? And? Is anyone going to answer the phone?

Because, also, right now? Dealing with PharmaCare who wants my 2006/2007 tax returns in order to cover me...um, I just got legal residency in April of this year. I don't have tax returns for 2006/2007. I wasn't working. That would have been illegal. Federally illegal. But can I get anyone to answer the phone there? Hell no. And I really want to be covered because after my trip to Urgent Care last week, I actually landed myself a family doctor. For real. I see him on Wednesday...and, because I am acting like a lunatic lately, I was going to maybe see about getting on something that might make things less lunatic...for a while...but if I don't really have coverage? Cuz I don't have tax returns for years I didn't work? See? Lunatic?

Maybe it's not me at all. But I just don't know for sure. AAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHH!!!

But......... I don't like barely avoiding a breakdown at Canadian Tire when I should be hopping mad....and I would like to be able to deal with these tiresome, endless phonecalls with fellow lunatics without this sense of fruitlessness and the desire to pound my head against the wall...yeah. That would be nice. And? Would like to get back to enjoying more things, too. Obviously, this little funk I am in isn't as little as I would like to think...and obviously, oh so obviously, I would like to get myself back to me...and then head back to the Canadian Tire Auto Service Centre....possibly kick some ass...

It's a whole new world out here but I am not sure how I fit in it right now.

Have you received the memo????

I can't seem to find the time or place or the words lately....so locked in my own dramatic mindset that I don't even know what's going on around me anymore. Apparently many women my age are going through this, too. And always have. Still, it doesn't make it any easier...especially since it all seemed to come on so suddenly. The craze, the anxiety, the chest-achey-ness....
You know what finally slowed my crazy brain down? I had five days off this week. Spent the last three sick in bed. Sick. Like really sick. Went to the clinic, got a prescription, made me feel both ravenously hungry and ready to puke at all times....the only thing that made it better was sleeping 12 hours at a stretch, waking up and reaching for my Dexter books, reading until I slept again. Today, I feel part of the human race again. Tomorrow, I am going hiking in the morning, rain or shine. I might even take a picture or two. Yup. I gotta breathe air. Outdoor air. I gotta be outside. Thank goodness I had these days off already. Not that this is how I really wanted to be spending them...then again, being forced to stay in bed, distract myself with books and tea and lots and lots of sleep(that there really hasn't been a lot of lately), has taken an edge off of me that has been poking me lots lately, right up under the right shoulder blade and making it hard to breathe. So, yeah, I hope that part lasts.
Maybe soon I can tell you about the trip home I took WEEKS ago now!

Miriam Makeba....

JOHANNESBURG, South Africa – Miriam Makeba, the South African singer who wooed the world with her sultry voice but was banned from her own country for more than 30 years under apartheid, died after collapsing on stage in Italy. She was 76.

In her dazzling career, Makeba performed with musical legends from around the world — jazz maestros Nina Simone and Dizzy Gillespie, Harry Belafonte, Paul Simon — and sang for world leaders such as John F. Kennedy and Nelson Mandela.

"Her haunting melodies gave voice to the pain of exile and dislocation which she felt for 31 long years. At the same time, her music inspired a powerful sense of hope in all of us," Mandela said in a statement.

He said it was "fitting" that her last moments were spent on stage.

The Pineta Grande clinic in Castel Volturno, near the southern city of Naples, said Makeba died early Monday of a heart attack.

Makeba collapsed on stage Sunday night after singing one of her most famous hits "Pata Pata," her family said in a statement. Her grandson, Nelson Lumumba Lee, was with her as well as her longtime friend, Italian promoter Roberto Meglioli.

"Whilst this great lady was alive she would say: 'I will sing until the last day of my life'," the statement said.

Sleep well and sound under your African skies, Mama Africa.

we are watching

history being made.....
breathe deep

mid-life what?

What is this and why is it happening? Winter, weather, lack of light, or a completely cliche mid-life crisis? I really hate to be cliche. Synapses misfiring right and left...only the end of October and just the first week of rain, already seeking comfort in St. John's Wort for the blue meanies on a daily basis...skullcap and valerian in moments of panic...which are happening more often than I dare really admit. Often, I have moments, or hours, when I get the feeling that I want to go home...but I don't really know what that means. I am home. I have moments, or hours, so close to tears that I have to fake my way through....moments if someone asks me if I am alright, I may just burst into tears for no reason...no reason that I can make sense of....
but my new Martin Sexton cds are helping...
my headphones drowning out everything...for a while, while I run and sweat...trying to outrun something....barely suppressed panic(thank you skullcap), most likely.....
so, i'm doggie paddling right now...head above water but not really moving forward too fast....but at least it's forward...i can recognize that...so my brain still works....i think....
but maybe you can understand why i am not posting too much right now?!?
k, thanks.

I stalked Martin Sexton.....

After arriving in Vancouver too early to check in to our hotel and too early to collect our tickets at will call here at the Vogue, we wandered and window shopped our way to Gastown to meet some friends for a quick trip to the Fluevog store and then a little lunch. Then we all piled into their car and cruised for a parking spot at Granville Island....no easy feat, believe me. Eventually, we found ourselves among the fruit vendors, the meat sellers, artisans and street performers. It was sunny and Sunday and the market was packed, roasted chestnuts warmed our hands, and sweet strawberries topped it all off.
Our friends left us there, and we tottled off to the water taxis to find our way back downtown...to collect our tickets and check in to our hotel...find somewhere for an afternoon coffee or even a pint of microbrew...
And here, window-shopping our way along Granville Street to the Vogue(for the second time in one day), Michael pointed out Martin Sexton himself strolling along the sidewalk going in the opposite direction. AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At which point, I reversed direction and followed along behind him...yup. I did. I stalked Martin Sexton. I followed along behind him into a store and then another.... completely inconspicuous in my bright red hoody and giddy demeanor. I was so sure he hadn't noticed until, as he looked at jeans, and I idled at the table of Converse tennis shoes directly behind him, he pulled his sunglasses down and glanced over at me...just to let me get a good look at him, I guess...I hope, anyway. I nearly fell over my own feet on the way to the front door of the store...where I swooned on the sidewalk a while near Michael(who refused to participate in my stalking exercise). Then, when he came out of the store, Martin, er, Mr. Sexton looked our way, smiled a smirky, half-amused smile, reversed his direction and wandered off down the sidewalk.

Of course, in reversing his direction, he was now walking the way we had originally been going! So we fell in step behind him again, this time a little further back...until he passed the Vogue. We stopped at will call and got our tickets and then moved on to our hotel to check in...my eyes peeled for another glimpse of Martin, er,...Mr. Sexton. Didn't happen, though.

If you ever have a chance to see Martin Sexton live, don't hesitate. GO!!!!! GO!!! GO!!! He is amazing. Honest to god....he is all about the music, the audience, the experience. He absolutely IS everything that is right with American music...gifted musician, songwriter, showman, honest, creative, embracing, true...and funny. In an age where studio wizardary can make the album, it is just such pure joy to have one man and his guitar take an entire audience away with him during a performance...in the journey.

I can't believe it took me 12 years for us to be in the same town at the same time in order to see him... it was worth the wait....though I hope I don't have to wait that long again.

Certainly, I hope he isn't afraid to come back to Vancouver thinking that Canadians are crazy stalkers or something. If that is the case, Mr. Sexton, I assure you, I am a fellow US citizen and that is where I get that from....I apologize for stalking you. I wasn't trying to be unnerving. I was really trying to get up the nerve to come thank you for extending your tour to Vancouver, and to thank for all the music over the years...but I was too nervous...so, if you read this?

Thank you so very much.

And that's all I've got to say about that.

we're home

already back at work...big weekend plans in Vancouver(Martin Sexton concert)....

we didn't get the cutest car ever....but don't have time for the story today...or tomorrow...and definitely not this weekend cuz did I mention? Martin Sexton concert....

trying to catch up on all your posts but don't have time to comment right now...nor words. er, words that make much sense, anyway.........because

my brain is unruly lately...need to let it settle a bit. too much stuff rattling around in there at the moment...like there is a substitute teacher in the classroom right now or something......

the leaves turned while we were gone. sigh. i don't like winter...must toughen up.

see you soon?

Is it just me

or is time really suddenly moving so fast that I can't keep up? The days are shorter, it's dark when I get up now...dark early, too. I shouldn't be so suprised by it, but I am. I think summer was here just last week, wasn't it? This week will be a madhouse so I thought I would make a little time here to check in...write something here, actually comment on some of your pages. I miss everybody. We need to have a little get together or something, eh? Oh...maybe a collective photo challenge or something. Only, just not now...cuz I can't keep up.
Around the hood here, there is new playground equipment in the park, and the new retirement residence has finished blasting and commenced building. Em's old place across the street is getting a huge facelift with new roof, siding, fencing, decks and stairs. It will be so nice to not see the old eyesore when I pull back the curtains. Our very colourful neighbours across the street moved out so we're all holding our breath to see who the landlord puts in next. Fingers crossed.
Thanksgiving is coming and I hear that we'll be pretty busy at work this week, so I am savouring having today off. Finishing up packing for my trip home, buying gifts for all the birthdays I have missed, etc. We leave on the first ferry out on Sunday, after a bit of a scramble to find a house/kitty sitter. It's been a long time since I was home. I am kind of nervous about it. Weird, eh?
It'll be good, though. Good to see my family and friends. Good to see Mount Rainier in the distance, good to walk Capitol Lake, good to be home for a bit. Good not to see Victoria Road for a bit.
Did I mention that I have been running? After the running clinic wrapped up a few months ago, I kept running...so finally, I think I am beginning to see the results...took long enough. Sheesh. Encouraged by that. I joined a gym today...it's right on my way to work. Like right there. Met with a trainer today to set my goals, measure up(ugh) and see what I have to do to get where I want...and I have to say, I was suprised to learn that I am really already pretty close. I must have a completely warped idea of what I look like. Which also suprised me...I thought I wasn't the "type." Aside from the idea that I want to look "HOT" in my 40's, really I just want to feel strong again...cuz I remember liking that feeling. A lot.
Oh, and? Michael ordered me the Dexter books...can't wait. They will be waiting for me when we get to Washington. And? We are quite possibly buying the cutest car ever while we're down there....my little van can't be imported so we have to sell it while we're down there...and hopefully buy something else. I'd show you, but then one of you might run out and buy it out from under us....not that I don't trust each and every one of you. I'm gonna miss my van, though. I love her.
And? Practicing lessons from U-Dog, I took Eem-er out "off-leash," just her and I yesterday. Faced my own fear about it, and dropped her dragline on the ground...and we both did pretty well, I think. It was way better than I anticipated. We're going out again today while the chicken stock cooks...
Chicken stock...it's soup weather again. Sigh.
Anyhoo, that's enough rambling, isn't it?

Exquisite

Tell me again about the Flaws,

about the warps, and the buckles, and the twists,

about the dangerous ways we get lost,

and then listen....

Let me tell you about the Beauty,

about following an uneven path barefoot,

fingertips brushing the high grasses,

eyes seeking, breath exhaling and, even still, trapped.

Find something that steals your sleep...

or your soul...

Something so exquisitely Flawed that it may even break your heart

but leaves it beating, just the same...

and then tell me.

Tell me about the Beauty.

It's take your mom to school day...

Okay, so maybe not...maybe it's cuz I have my own learning to do that I went...to school...with Eem-er...and the U-Dog, Rob Kerr. I rode in the bus, too....with a pack of nine dogs...
It was better than Disneyland. I swear. Louder and with a bit more slobber, but still better than Disneyland! You know what I learned in school today? That I have a better dog than I gave her credit for... and that she will come back to me(eventually), if I give her a little more freedom than I have been. Those times she's bolted from me really scared the bejesus out of me and I have to learn to give up some of that fear...and find better ways of dealing with my headstrong dog.

The hike was amazing...I'd never been out there on that trail before. Some grand scenery, lots of arbutus and moss, and sky and grass and rocky knolls, and vistas....

Thanks for the walk, Rob. And the lesson.

sleep sound

* Paul Newman had a soft spot for underdogs in real life, giving tens of millions to charities through his food company and setting up camps for severely ill children. Passionately opposed to the Vietnam War, and in favor of civil rights, he was so famously liberal that he ended up on President Nixon's "enemies list," one of the actor's proudest achievements, he liked to say.
(taken off Yahoo news this morning)

Happy Birthday to me....

I have been waiting nearly twelve years to see this guy live...so for my birthday(he must know it's my birthday, right?)tomorrow, tickets went on sale(today) for Martin Sexton's show in Vancouver next month...Orchestra level seats...and for me, for my birthday, I bought some. And honestly? Serendipity. Yeah, cuz I didn't know about this ticket sale at all...was looking into a Ticketmaster notice about Lucinda Williams tickets going on sale tomorrow at the same venue and stumbled across the news by accident....which is just the slightest bit irksome cuz I am on Martin's mailing list....but whatever. And? I already have the day off and the day after...just saying, serendipitous, eh? And you know what else??? You only turn 40 once. I may just buy myself tickets to see Lucinda, too. Because I love a girl who knows how to rock, in a bluesy, country, soulful sort of way...and doesn't really fit the mold.
Life can be sweet, even without the cake...
and tomorrow?
I get cake, too!

with frosting.

summer is definitely wrapping up....

and I can't really say that I like that. The down comforter goes back in the duvet cover tonight! And I am pulling the long-sleeved things to the front of my closet today.....and thinking of soup...with dumplings for dinner.

We had a lovely dinner party the other night...a goodbye to Dukie and family. It was fun to have the house full of people, and laughter and food, and love. I reckon there won't be so many of these moments for a while, the house crowded with dogs, elbows knocking into elbows, the good-natured teasings of good friends come together. I will miss them so much.
It certainly has been a summer of change...my emotions have run the gambit, and still are. My pack of plenty is down to just Eem-er and I most of the time now. Thank goodness she loves the U-Dog. At least she will be part of a pack still. Thank goodness I have work now, as well, and that I love it.
Well, it's time to get out of here for a bit...there is sunshine out those doors, even if the wind is chilly...and smells for Ee-mer to smell, and sights for me to see, pictures to take and discoveries to make. Tomorrow, I will download some of the photos off the camera and give you all a little update on the Hood. Some cool haps down this way...of course, lots of the same old crap, too! Talk to y'all later.

Ditto what Allium(Life in the Bathtub Racing Capitol) said...and the best friend the south end ever had

November 15th
Elect to Council
Gordon Fuller
Building Community
An Alternative to Vested Interests
In running for Council for the third time Gord believes he would bring a balanced perspective with both personal and professional experience around social issues as well as his involvement over the years with various community groups. A long time Social and Community activist Gord knows it is critical to recognise the importance of a healthy diverse economy in providing meaningful employment and the necessary tax base from which to run our fair city. “We need a strong advocate on council representing the interests of the South End, an advocate who also understands the issues in other areas of the city as well. There is much to be said for the Ward system as opposed to the at large. This becomes even more apparent when we consider South of the Hospital area has seen no elected representation for years.”Gord is a third generation Nanaimoite, himself having lived in Nanaimo for the past 27 years most spent in the South End and Downtown areas. In 2002 he completed a degree in Child & Youth Care at Malaspina University/College while working full time as manager of Samaritan House Emergency Shelter. Gord is currently employed with Nanaimo Youth Services Association as coordinator of their 20 unit Youth Housing Complex.Active in the community Gord Fuller is currently Co-Chair of the Nanaimo 7-10 Club Society, President of Friends of Plan Nanaimo, Vice President of the South End Community Association and Vice Chair of the Nanaimo Neighbourhood Netwerk. He is also an active participant on the Board of Citizens Advocacy as well as with the Downtown Nanaimo Partnership – Housing Design Development subcommittee, Working Group on Homeless Issues, Neighbours of Nob Hill, Nanaimo Old City Association and Mid Island Coalition for Strong Communities. Gord’s past community involvement has also been extensive including participation with the Nanaimo Crystal Meth Task Force, Nanaimo Alcohol and Drug Action Coalition, Working Group on Downtown Social Issues, Mental Health Advisory Council, City of Nanaimo Nuisance Property Committee, Nanaimo Social Development Strategy, S.A.F.E.R Downtown Nanaimo Project, Community Food Connection, Food Link Nanaimo, Action for Diversity Team and Nanaimo Food Share Society.“I believe Nanaimo is a unique city that still has an opportunity to work collectively towards not repeating the mistakes other cities have made in the past. We need to focus on the preservation of Nanaimo’s heritage with development that works in harmony with the waterfront and mountain vistas, maintaining the unique character of neighbourhoods and the community, Citizen Driven and Not Developer Driven. Smart Growth not rapid growth should determine Nanaimo’s future.”“We need to implement sustainable small-scale social programs that move away from the institutional and towards community integration. We must work towards Social Equality and the elimination of the endemic poverty that exists in Nanaimo. This process can be accomplished in part through innovative sustainable affordable housing options that do not place a greater burden on the already high taxes that exist in Nanaimo. It is imperative that we, as a community, recognize and value diversity and the potential of all citizens in contributing to make Nanaimo a vibrant and inclusive community.”In keeping with a vision of a healthy community Gord believes, “we must look towards the environment both urban and rural. Initiatives towards green energy, environmental protection and public ownership of our drinking water must be given priority.”Other Comments:Parks: “ From recreational to Tot Lots we need to ensure all of Nanaimo’s Parks are safe from rezoning in the future.”Water: “We need to ensure that privatization of water never comes up on the agenda of the municipality and Regional District. Nanaimo needs to look to the purchase of the watersheds surrounding our drinking water.”Planning: “Nanaimo is fast becoming a laughing stock, among communities across Canada, when it comes to urban planning. We need to implement smart growth principals creating density within, rather than by expanding, the urban containment boundary.”Development: “Neighbourhood involvement needs to be the first step for developers before taking their projects to the city for approval. “Housing & Homelessness: “The City of Nanaimo must lobby provincial and federal levels of government to work with the municipality in the provision of affordable/social housing and other means to end homelessness and poverty in Nanaimo.”Concentration of Social Services: “Most communities work from the adage that you put the services where the people are. This has tended to concentrate services in the downtown or bordering neighbourhoods and results in urban decay and the ghettoization of the community. Poverty is not located in any one area and as such we need to look at creating smaller scale services outside of the downtown areas. We need to move away from large scale all-in-one institutional settings.”
Food Security/Policy: “The City of Nanaimo must adopt a food charter coordinating municipal strategy that will encourage greater support for local food producers as well as allowing for the development of community gardens that would help provide food security to those in need in Nanaimo.”
Conflict of Interest: “If there is even a remote chance of conflict or perceived conflict of interest councilors must make it known.”Councilor behaviour at council meetings/public hearings: “The denigrating of people speaking to council must stop. All citizens coming before council must be treated with respect.”City Council Terms of Office: “Too often this has become a career, many having sat on council for 25 years or more. I believe we need to limit the number of terms a person sits on council to 2 or 3 at the most. This would allow for a quicker turnover to fresh ideas and enthusiasm on the part of newly elected municipal officials.”A strong believer in an open communication process you can feel free to contact Gord at:Ph: 250 754 6389e-mail: gorfathome@yahoo.ca
Posted by Allium at 8:04 PM
Tags: City Council, Community, Community Gathering, Homelessness, Nanaimo, Natural Living
3 comments
Sunday, September 7, 2008



so, hey, it's me now, Dilling. If you are reading this in Nanaimo...get out and vote...and make your vote count....make it count for something you believe in... You do have a voice...USE IT!

her first day of school....

Where does the time go?

I should start saving for her college tuition, eh?

moo

whew...........

Two years ago today we adopted Sylvan-Charlotte-Emma-Eemer from Beaglepaws....and life has been a learning experience ever since...for better and for worse. She starts U-Dog University this week...so that she learns something or, more likely, we do. However it works out, we still have "issues" to address, but we love her, all the same. That's why she starts University.

Back from another whirlwind camp trip to Nanaimo Lakes. We saw all the lakes, fished some, didn't catch a thing, and still didn't see any elk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, gotta go get to work...it's gonna be a busy week so if you don't hear from me, don't think too much of it. Should be quieter around here next week. Maybe.

Hope y'all had a good weekend and we'll talk soon?!?

ps....check out this!!!!!

reveries

So we headed off camping a few days ago....no major trip, just out of Here...I don't have much to say about it, other than it was just so good to get away...my mind is full of daydreams, Mellancamp lyrics, plans that could happen, things that might be, politics(let's NOT talk politics, though)....remember how I said that my brain has lots of noise a few posts ago? That's going on right now. Mostly, it's music, but not all of it. So, photos of camping and thoughts of random, sometimes shiny things..... Why is 40 such a big deal? There have been YEARS of my life where I didn't remember how old I was...for real. I don't remember being 24 at all. Is that weird? I don't feel much different than I did in my late 20's(mentally...physically, DAMN!!!!) and I think I should. Shouldn't I? Sometimes I think I should be further along than I am...more at peace, more comfortable in my skin...I actually think sometimes I am going backwards in those areas....but then I realize how often I laugh out loud...and feel, really FEEL things now. Even the uncomfortable things.

We set set the alarm to get up and watch the sunrise over the lake and then went back to bed. How funny are we? It was beautiful, though.

Right now in Washington State, they are trying to pass a Doctor Assisted Suicide Bill for people with terminal disease. My brother-in-law, whom I adore, is completely and vocally against it...with very convincing arguments that have nothing to do about God or sin....but I still intend to vote in favour of it, all the same. Wait...I wasn't going to talk politics...though there is nothing political about the time we all go Home. Sometimes, I gotta really, truly believe we all know when the time is right to just, simply, go Home. Somehow, I feel my time in Olympia next month will be nothing but political, at every turn....and I dread that. But I still love my family.

I spent 2 hours with an accupuncturist today. It is the first time in months without some remarkable pain....but somehow, I don't trust this reprieve. I can still feel where the pain is supposed to be. Does that make sense?

It's 9/11 then...I am still sitting alone on the floor of our house in Vancouver watching the towers fall through my tears, barely able to breathe, alone in a foreign country, unable to cross the closed borders even though I should be home, part of the collective pain, part of the collective suffering.....bleeding.

It's 9/11 now, and I feel we've learned nothing.

But the sun still rises and feels good on my skin....

and I can still find something magic just about anywhere, if I remember to take the time.

Eem-er's boyfriend, Dukie, is moving back to Ontario this month with his mom and dad. This neighbourhood seems so empty now. Except for the crack hookers.

"This getting older ain't for cowards."

And, I have felt like a bad country music fan...y'all know that we lost Jerry Reed on August 31, don't ya? Some of you may only recognize him as Burt Reynold's sidekick in Smokey and Bandit. If that's all you know, then look him up. He was so much more than that. We lost an artist, a musician, a songwriter...a good ole boy and a poet. Goodnight, Guitar Man, one sure can get lost in the Louisianna Bayou. Hope you found your way.

"I have worried about many things

most of which did not come to pass...." yeah, that's me, quoting Mellencamp. Maybe it's it is this whole coming up on 40 thing, thinking about how my life is(very good) and how it might have been(let's not go there, see earlier post)...if any one thing had been different, if I had not been strong enough, or brave enough, or crazy enough...or if the colour blue of the sky in Colorado had been something I had seen before... This post isn't about such introspection...at least not mine. It is about John Mellencamp's, though. And it's full of heel-stompin', emphasis marking statements about getting older , being tired and dying one day, about the eyes of heaven, about not being a coward without being a hero(not that he's not one of my heroes, cuz he absolutely is!!!!) As much as this music is about getting older and dying, it's about LIVING, about being a better person...something I can work on. How about you?

Yeah, I know, I told you about it before, but EVERY time I listen to this album, it just gets better. Like life-altering, jaw-dropping, holy-shit-that's-deep-and-I-wish-I-could-have-said-it-that-way better. Don't you love a real life songwriter? Just look up the lyrics...read them like a poem...read them like someone's secret diary....read them like it's your life. Read them like it's my life. Read them like it's your neighbour's life. Or someone you have never even met....now add the music....

"I realized our country has written some sad motherfuckin' songs. I wanted to see if I had it in me to write like that....I see darkness everywhere, and I have to write about it. I don't care if I just sell six records. All I can do is keep on writing songs and singing."
-- Mellencamp on Life, Death, Love and Freedom in Rolling Stone magazine's 2008 spring music preview issue.

You should buy this album. I doubt you'll regret it...and if you do regret , hold onto that cd until you're old enough to get it. He should sell at least seven albums. Don't you think?

The Rapture

All summer

I wandered the fields

that were thickening every morning,

every rainfall,

with weeds and blossoms,

with the long loops

of the shimmering,

and the extravagant-

pale as flames they rose

and fell back,

replete and beautiful-

that was all there was-

and I too

once or twice,

at least,

felt myself rising,

my boots

touching suddenly the tops of the weeds,

the blue and silky air-

listen,

passion did it,

called me forth,

addled me,

stripped me clean

then covered me with the cloth of happiness-

I think there is no other prize,

only rapture the gleaming,

rapture the illogical the weightless-

whether it be for the perfect shapeliness

of something you love-

like an old German song-

or of someone-

or the dark floss of the earth itself,

heavy and electric.

At the edge of sweet sanity open such wild,

blind wings.

(Mary Oliver)

Up to the Challenge?

CindyDianne has challenged us.... without cleaning it, we were to take a photo of our bedside table. And to tell what the "to do" list is regarding the stuff there. I don't know what that is supposed to tell you about me, but I am not afraid. And seriously, CindyDiane, I did not clean it for the photos. You may remember that I am that person who wanted a mop for her birthday last year(this year I want the Dexter book series, hint hint). This is just how it is...my "to do" list, at any given time, is to finish reading whatever four or five books I have on the go at the time. My bedside table is tiny for a reason...so that it can't collect stuff. There is a method to my madness, after all. A battery operated clock so that if the power goes out, the clock is still going. I used to have a glass of water bedside, but the kitty likes to put her feet in it while I was sleeping and taking a swig out of kitty foot flavoured water at 3am is disgusting...so bottled water it is(sorry, Al Gore.) The silver thing is my reading glasses case. I know I paid a good chunk of change for 20/20 vision, but sometimes the tiny print books are just TOO TINY of print these days....which brings me to my books. Yup. Usually four at a time...right now, it's five although the fifth one is on the living room bureau since it's about training dogs, and I am not training Eem-er at bedtime. Here, though, you will find I am reading this, and this, and this, and, finally, this. What are you reading???

Just to prove it's not a staged shot, CindyDianne, I'll add this one....note the bed is not even made and my ginormous stack of pillows is on the floor. I am currently sleeping with only pillow now, an ortho pillow, at that. I hate it. I miss all my pillows....oh, yeah, see the blue ball on the nightstand? It is for rolling along knots in your neck, back, etc....been having some neck and back pain lately...so on my to do list, STRETCHING exercises and possibly an accupuncture treatment....and maybe someday actually find out what causes this pain. And if you think my bedside table is boring....look at Michael's!

Just the remote for the fan/light fixture....what is it about men and remote controls?

K, that's it. The phone just rang and they are down one person at work...cold and flu season seems to have started.

bye now.

two days off....

and I am sick....go figure. Two days and all I have to show for it is two clean loads of laundry. Sigh. Snoozing on the couch watching Bob Ross painting happy little trees in his happy little world on public television...Fishbone tucked behind my knees and Eem-er curled against my belly kind of makes my little world a bit happier, even though I am mostly miserable...

ah well....

life happens.

I watched a flock of Canadian Geese from the back deck this morning. I think they were already heading south.

Talk to you all later.