dear Blogger, and Blogger Friends....
i am rusty with blogging. perhaps i shouldn't have opened myself up so much online....or? perhaps i shouldn't have let my face-to-face friends know about Blahg. now, i find myself editing myself on both fronts. i have always felt honest on both fronts, although what i choose to talk about on both is completely seperate from the other...
here, in print, i have felt safe to convey my innermost thoughts and feelings, even the angry, sordid ones. now? because i have been called into question in my "real" life, i feel i no longer have that/this/our safety net. i don't feel i can put my most honest emotions down. it's been a hard year...and though many people who haven't known me "all my life" may not recognize what's going on, i am sure there are many others who might...
it's just this....i come around in my own time...and my timing has always been off. but? i miss being honest here...in fear of offending someone, anyone, i lose my ability to speak...that is kinda how i am in "real life."
so i kinda wish the two had never come together, right? even though the reason for starting this Blahg was to keep in touch with my "real" world.
does any of that make sense?
6 comments:
I thought for sure there were words with this post. I saw it come in, but didn't have time to read it! Am I losing it? Ah, what evil tricks the mind doth play...
ah gawilli, you're always the one to catch me on this....i overthought myself. it was all about being rusty because i didn't want to offend anybody...about trying to blog and trying to have a personal life and how i don't like how the two mix...which is why i can't seem to blog anymore....
so, thanks to gawilli, i will replace what text i can....
I think I understand, and I hope you can find the balance. You deserve safety, and I'd miss your blogs.
Totally understand. I shut my blog down for pretty much the same reasons - I felt over exposed.
Why not start a new totally anon blog?
kevin wife says, "this is why i quit facebook and turned my blog into a work related site as opposed to filling the space with personal stuff, the real world judged me for things that the people who actually listen to me would understand.
i love your words, even if they are dark or sore. you bring me nothing but comfort."
Post a Comment