despite my many negative feelings about December; every horrible holiday experience experienced coming up in every dream, the many December/January losses(some really fresh and others long simmering), the longlonglong days of grey, the days of waking up in the dark and going to bed in the dark, my own self-diagnosis of Seasonal Affective Disorder(which may be heralded if the freaking intake nurse at Mental Health would ever return my call, hello???? )...i have had a couple, or three, break-throughs in my gloominess.... still holiday Grinchy.....don't get me wrong there. This will always be a tough sell month for celebration for me. I will go into that with the intake nurse, if i can ever get a hold of them...(that's you, Nancy!).
This month, despite many, many weeks of not taking a single picture(of feeling there was nothing worth recording on my end), i have had three successes....i have one photo in a Canada province-wide magazine on fishing, of all things.
(i don't fish, though).
I have a photo being printed for greeting cards, all the proceeds of which go to getting animals rescued and adopted. I have a photo(of the same rascally dog) being published for a training pamphlet/online course to teach police officers across the US and the public about the horrible crime of dog-fighting rings.....maybe you all know Marley...if not....http://www.flickr.com/photos/59041131@N00/3681946835/ follow all links... his story will make your heart both break and re-invent itself....truly.
I love him...it's not the first time i have written about him....if this is your first read, then let me introduce him to you...http://www.flickr.com/photos/59041131@N00/3681946835/
So, funny enough...it's been a long time i haven't felt like i have contributed a thing....and now, it's Christmas Eve, and I find that this night, of all nights, i might make some small difference. it's good. it feels good.
i do love to find moments that no one else does.
although i mostly doubt anyone finds those moments when i find find them....this time, this most precious time of my life, i have been proved wrong.
i love those moments.
i love dogs. and these moments.
i love that i made some impact. however small.
and so, with that small statement of gratitude, even if you don't know what the past year of my life has meant( in all the greater and lesser degrees, and assuredly NOT in comparison with yours, for i make no comparisons of high times or low times(we all deal with our own times/experiences/phobias/stressors in our own way, in our time)), i have been/ am/ will be/ forever thankful of your input, your participation, your available input and advice, your insight into my life, your guidance, your intuitiveness.
i have not been here much lately, in words or posts....but i have been here...listening....learning... trying to accept your friendships, your input, your advice...
Peace on Earth, my friends.
And prayers for our most fulfilling year to come.
Merry Christmas
3 comments:
I've always thought your pictures should be in print.
Happy Holidays to you, and yours.
I am so glad your pictures of Marley have become more than pictures of Marley -- even though they are sufficient in their own right. And, so glad you feel that something you have done has contributed to some good in the world. And, on that subject, I must insist that your blog, your photos, your heart, your presence is a positive force in my life and, I am sure, in the lives of all who are privileged to know you. I wish I could send you the good feelings I receive from your recording of your love of life. Just believe me, you make my life better just by being here and posting whenever you can and whatever you post.
Congrats on the publishness!! Now more can share in your awesomeness. (And it's gonna be a great year...trust me.)
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