Things are changing around here...and I am not sure if I will like the results. Then again, I am not sure if I won't like them, either. Amid all the bullshit of needle drop boxes and crackhouses and drug dealers running on the street, we have our personal lives to tend to, as well. In a neighbourhood where everybody knows everybody, and knows their business, it can be hard to know how to handle personal problems. Two sets of neighbours are seperating(one divorce, one trial seperation). The couple divorcing kinda rocked me back on my heels because I thought they were "meant" for each other. Really Like two peas in a pod, like when people use the term "soulmates." I don't always agree that finding your soulmate means you marry them, cuz I believe the soul is beyond all the bullshit of sexual identity and getting hitched...and I also don't believe your soul only has one "mate," but in fact, resonates with it's own "tribe," if you will, of familiar entities. But if two soulmates find each other and love...well, this would be them...forever. Then again, not so much, apparently. I ran into her the other night, and after some distressing email, she did seem radiant...and happy and ready to move on to the next thing...which is good, and healthy, and woman power! 
The two heading into trial seperation are more than just neighbours, though. They are our friends. Good friends. Some of our best friends. And though I have often put the heel of my hand to my forehead over his antics and asked "HOW does she put up with that shit?", I am more than rocked back on my heels by the fact that she has, in fact, reached the end of what we ALL thought of as her infinite(somewhat saintly, make me feel lesser) patience. And I don't know what to do with what I am feeling...where do I go with it? How do I deal with this? What are my loyalties? Michael's loyalties? Do they go down the gender lines? Is there any such thing in these cases? What? Where? How? Why did I answer the phone?????? I know that it sounds selfish and such...but it's not. My feelings for her, and for him, are without question. I have no doubts about how to stand up for her...or for him....it's where this situation puts us that I question. You know? He is one of Michael's best friends, ....she is one of mine. You see where I am going with this, eh? But, maybe I am overreacting and all will be well. 
I am in love with this man here, with our life, with the life I anticipate coming....He is my last, best boyfriend.... despite the times we don't always see things the same way. I love him. I love him. I love him. I hate when friends break up. It opens too many doors, too many questions, too many wonderings....it disrupts my rose-coloured view of our world. But....then again.......it opens up a whole new world to my friends.....infinite, wide open and one that may make them radiant beyond all comprehension.
11 comments:
*hugs*
I've been there. life's like a box of chocolates you never know what you're going to get.
That is very tough, isn't it? I totally know what you mean about "rocking back on your heels." Been there — on both sides of it, but I have to say I sure did appreciate the support I received from my friends when I was on the especially painful side.
you know, you are the best ever at writing something both heartbreaking and uplifting.
I have been there, that awful spot where friends break up and you have to decide where your loyalties lie. Or to not choose sides. Also, we've been the couple who are told by others that we're perfect. We have no intention of ever breaking up but sometimes I imagine the shock and horror if we did. It's inconceivable.
I hate seeing people break up and I'd tell your friends to do what it takes to keep it together, but that's just me.
Hug your good man. He is lovely and you deserve the happiness you give each other.
xo
there is no easy answer to this, just be you to both of your friends x
I think breakups can be a good thing...not a loss after all, but a chance to gain more.
Like, remember when I broke up with you know who? And I thought that so much was lost and my life would never be complete again?
And then I found TRUE love, and now I am overflowing with it and everything is better than I could have ever even imagined!
The only thing i "lost" was my fashion sense for the brief period when I moved to Sechelt. Remember that?
Is this thing on?
In my rose colored world, friends don't break up either. Though, I know it isn't truth, because I was one of the friends breaking up once. Fortunately for me, I got custody of the friends!
I hope the path you and Michael need to take becomes clear! Murkiness sucks.
I hate it when that happens. It's such an impossible situation.
You don't take sides you just carry on being yourselves. One of em needs you you're there.
If they're real friends they'll see that and respect it.
You can't be the judge. Just a friend.
xx
Hopefully after the shock of the break up wears off the future with these friends will be more clear.
Having gone through seeing close friends break up in the past, I have felt much like you seem to. You and other friends are affected to some degree by the break up as the couple themselves. Ime, it's made friendships stronger or consequently weaker.
We grow and learn. Take care.
{{hugs}}
Horrible situation. ;(
I hope that friendships will remain in tact. It can be tough initially but certainly not impossible.
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