Exactly

This is exactly how I feel today watching the snow fall since waking up this morning. I am fairly close to beers...er, tears. I meant tears...later, of course, it will be beers. It is only 2:30 pm yet.
I am a wimp. Hah, beat you to it, didn't I? I am. A wimp, that is. I agree. But last week, we were out in shirt sleeves working in the yard...counting the blossoms, putting up lattice for the passionflower vines that are probably dead now. This constant change in the weather wreaks havoc on my body, too, and the regular low-level daily dose of arthritis in my back and shoulder has been amplified to near crippling for days now...taking aspirin or advil or anything kills my stomach, churning up acids and air, which then causes further pain in my shoulders and back and this horrible cycle is rolling along again at a fair pace right now.

I am in a slow, simmering bad mood...my own typical moroseness, this state of limbo while waiting to hear from Immigration, the grey returning after the promise of sun and sweetness; all egged on further by this nagging pain running down my spine and crawling over my shoulder and down the top of my arm . It makes me wonder what age 60 will feel like...or 70. And how I will deal with it then. All I want to do is crawl back into bed. And cry...until I fall asleep and dream of warm beaches on a southern gulf, long days of sunlight and short seasons of rain...the sun warming me all the way, deep into to my aching bones.

I need some distraction from this glorious sadness. Anyone?

It's not supposed to be like this here, now.

This is what it is supposed to look like...this was last week.

This is today. What gives?

Thanks for listening.

Later.